Skaven triumph in vicious battle

Run! Run! Stab! Stab! continued their home season with a game against those vile pretenders to Skaven glory, the “Rough” Ratters.

24,000 fans with little to do on a late, cold evening showed up for the game. Despite having the home field advantage the Ratters brought more fans. Slaves will be “enrolled” for our next home game. Fearing the vast horror that is the Stabber’s fan favourite Rat Ogre Mr. Fluffy, the Ratters hired their own anemic, sickly Rat Ogre in an attempt to counter Mr. Fluffy’s talent on the field.

The Ratters paid a higher bribe and so “won” the coin toss and elected to receive. Ratter’s fans started the game by tossing a hail of, hopefully, rocks on the field stunning Stankwhisper. In rapid succession the Ratters managed to score two TDs using a very suspicious tactic that involved thronging the sideline and running their cowardly Gutter Runner along the sideline for a TD.

Stabbers coach Groat Jurglerbiter elected to draw a defensive line near the opposing endzone to attempt to stall the game until the end of the half before score. This plan worked wonders until the two Gutter Runners with the ball decided to drop an easy handoff meaning that the half ended with the Ratters leading 2-1.

During the halftime celebrations, while the opposing teams mascots were being burned, perhaps in effigy, the cheerful and positive Stabber’s fans offered the Ratters a case of totally fresh, and absolutely untampered, Bloodweiser ale. The Ratters, suspecting nothing happy to be offered a treat, drank down the entire case and then headed to the field for the second half.

The Ratters kicked to the Stabbers to start the second half. The Stabbers quickly scored and then for some reason, still unexplained, the Ratter’s gameplay seemed to take a nosedive. Throwers failed to pick up the ball, Gutter Runners fell for no reason, Rat Ogres were distracted by explosive flatulence and over the course of the rest of the half the Stabbers were able to score three more TDs all based on fumbles or turnovers.

Seeing their ability to score going down the drains the Ratters resorted to attempting to foul Mr Fluffy after he accidentally fell down when trying to attempt to terminally pet and stroke one of the Ratter Linerats. The second attempt at a foul finally woke the ref up and he ejected the Ratter Linerat for a professional foul: failing to attempt to bribe the ref before fouling.

The only sour point of the game was the hail of projectiles that rained on the field near the end of the second half that once again seemed to be targeting Gutter Runner Stankwhisper. This time the dejected Ratter’s fans were able to knock Stankwhisper off the field. What was at first deemed to be a terminal injury was, after a good slapping and kicking, found to be only a minor injury.

At the end of the game the Stabbers had managed to win the game 5-2 and once again prove their superiority over their BBLOC Skaven competition.

Stabbers coach Groat Jurglerbiter was elated at his win and promised that the regular practice sessions of beatings and screaming would be suspended for a game in celebration.


Chris was able to put together a really effective sideline rush that rewarded him with two quick TDs. Even with the Rat Ogre I wasn’t really able to deal with this play. You can’t really clog the field when the opposing team can dodge just as well as you can. I elected to stall on my second possession to stop Chris from scoring at the end of the half and then hope to take the lead on my first possession of the second half.

Sadly I double-oned a handoff attempt and the half ended 2-1 in Chris’ favour.

In the second half Chris’ dice luck when for a trip to some other game and Chris was failing pick-ups, dodge rolls and Wild Animal rolls. The lowpoint of this was when Chriss attempted to dodge one of his Gutter Runners down the sideline next to a BLitzer and made the two “in tackle zone” dodge rolls but then double-oned his “in the open” dodge roll.

Also unmentioned in my game recap is that Chris spent the second half with at least half of his team either KOed or injured/dead/ejected. Oddly, for a Skaven team, I not only caused casualties but also had no injuries or casualties until almost the end of the game.

Chris did the best he could in the second half but the combination of horrible dice rolls and injuries left him with too few players to cover up his fumbles and not enough players to block me from taking advantage of them. It was a pretty frustrating situation to be in and Chris bore it well.

In the end I had five players skill up including my Thrower who now has Safe Pass.